The Children’s Home has several houses where our house families reside. Each house family consists of one or two house parents and children of the same gender and close in age. This structure gives each resident a sense of family, which some have never had the privilege to experience.
We take in children from all sorts of family backgrounds, so each house family is a blend. It is always our mission to give our residents the best childhood experience possible, so we select our house parents carefully.
Our house parents exemplify proven traits for foster and adoptive families. Today, we’re sharing some of these traits that we feel help families to succeed.
Patience
Patience is a virtue, not necessarily a natural phenomenon (unless that’s your spiritual gift).
Without patience, it can be difficult to parent, especially when your child is going through an emotional challenge or journey.
Being patient with your child’s behavior and emotions is good; those emotions will likely not change overnight. Instead of responding to unwanted behavior angrily, be patient and encourage them. Give them the grace to recover and grow without fear of harsh reprimanding.
Consistency
Many studies have shown that a lack of reliable parental figures can substantially impact a child’s overall development, often leading to depression, anxious or avoidant attachments, behavioral disorders, and maladaptive outcomes.
At the Children’s Home, our house parents give residents a loving, stable home environment. In our experience, consistency is one of the most essential traits for a successful family and home environment. No one can be the perfect parent; however, being present and caring shows a child more than you might think. Many children and teens will reflect later on that while they didn’t have the perfect parent, they had one caring enough to show up and stick around. Often, that’s enough.
Faith
In the book of Matthew, chapter 18, Jesus says that believers with faith like a little child are the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. Anyone who has raised children knows kids wield the power of belief better than anyone. This faith stems from the fact that children in stable circumstances have not experienced tragedy or loss in a way that makes them lose hope; they have never felt abandoned.
However, faith and hope are not always as strong in children who have lost their parents or have been abandoned. As a Christian ministry, we aim to restore or bolster faith in God and hope for the future. One of the ways our houseparents encourage residents to have hope is by exemplifying faith in the home, rejoicing in the Lord for his blessings, and trusting him to provide and guide their lives.
Perseverance
Romans 5:3-4 says: “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. [E]ndurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. (New Living Translation)
Perseverance, or endurance, is one trait every parent should demonstrate for their child. As Romans 5 says, the hardships we endure or persevere through strengthen our character and faith.
Even though the troubles of a foster or adoptive child’s past can be truly heartbreaking and worthy of compassion, parents must show them how difficult experiences can help them grow rather than bring them to a hopeless place.
To Every Foster or Adoptive Family
Maybe you don’t possess all the above traits; however, with dedication, you can develop these over time. Many of these characteristics take effort, but they’re worth every ounce.
As you invest in your child’s livelihood by developing these essential characteristics, your child will learn them, too. Remember: children are highly observant and will mirror the actions of those they trust. You don’t have to be a perfect parent—we all have room to grow—but you have to be open to productive change and mindful of the little eyes and ears always watching and learning from your example.
Our ministry at the Alabama Free Will Baptist Children’s Home depends on the generous gifts of our donors. Please consider donating to help children and teens have a loving, stable home, and learn more about our mission on our blog. Thank you for reading!