Emotional and behavioral issues created as a result of child abandonment don’t magically disappear once the child becomes an adult. Quite the opposite, actually: they can become even more pronounced if not managed properly.
Child abandonment comes in different forms, but at its root, it is emotional and physical abuse and/or neglect of a child by their parent, guardian, or caregiver. Keep reading to learn how abandonment can affect children into adulthood and what can be done to take control of its symptoms.
How Abandonment Can Affect Children Becoming Adults
An adult who was abandoned as a child will carry the fear of other people in their lives abandoning them. This can cause them to engage in behaviors that may be off-putting or unusual to people who are not familiar with the abandoned adult’s background or the symptoms of an adult who was abandoned as a child.
When an abandoned child becomes an adult, the negative treatment they received as an adolescent can manifest in a multitude of unhealthy behaviors when engaging with others. This can include pushing people away to avoid rejection, trying to control others, sabotaging their relationships, jumping from relationship to relationship, holding back in relationships, requiring lots of reassurance that they’re loved, being a people pleaser, and being codependent.
Why Child Abandonment Is Dangerous for a Survivor
As an anxiety disorder, fear of abandonment can also result in symptoms that the survivor experiences internally, such as low self-esteem, addiction, eating disorders, self-harm, panic, constant worry, and more.
If untreated, all of the symptoms and behaviors listed above can evolve into more dangerous long-term mental health disorders like depression, attachment anxiety, codependency, and borderline personality disorder.
Engaging in and exhibiting all of these negative behaviors and symptoms can often result in the survivor’s worst fear coming true: losing and alienating their family, friends, and partner.
Treatment Options
It can be hard for a child abandonment survivor to see the detrimental effects of their experience. As a result their behavior can have on them and others until it is explained to them with compassion by someone they trust. If they accept the truth of their situation and are open to healing and growing, there are a couple of treatment options that can help them do so.
Psychotherapy is the main and most helpful option. A professional therapist can explain that what happened to them as a child was not okay, tell them how it informs and affects their behavior and experiences as an adult, and help them learn to overcome their fears.
It’s also important for survivors to take part in their own self-care by allowing themselves to trust others and have relationships with healthy boundaries. This ensures they learn to meet their own emotional needs and not depend on others in unhealthy ways.