When you and your spouse or partner begin your journey to becoming adoptive parents, you likely imagine the great memories and bonding moments you’ll share. Although there’s nothing wrong with an optimistic point of view, it’s unwise to try and only look through rose-colored glasses.
Today, we want to offer some realistic insight into the complexities of the adoption process, and parenting adopted children for new, future, or hopeful adoptive parents. Let’s begin by exploring some unrealistic (yet common) expectations adoptive parents can have.
Some Adoptive Parents’ Unrealistic Expectations
Some of the expectations that adoptive parents have for their children or what parenthood will look like aren’t really plausible. That’s not to say adoptive parenthood isn’t one of the most rewarding, enlightening, and unique experiences this world has to offer: It indeed can be, but it is still a serious, lifelong responsibility.
All Adoptive Children Will React Similarly
Even if you’ve already adopted a child before and everything went smoothly, remember that every child has a unique personality; you can’t know for sure that another child will respond to adoption the same way. Some children will be excitable and affectionate, eager to celebrate joining their new family. Others may feel withdrawn or even angry enough to act out.
Regardless of their initial temperament, you must show your child that you respect their space and are glad to give them plenty of time and space to work out what they’re going through. Then, they will know they can trust you.
Your Child Will Be Completely Happy
Another common unrealistic expectation is that once adoption is finalized, your child will be happy. You can be the most fun, caring parent in the world, but the circumstances that gave your child the need for adoptive parents often leave them suffering from emotional baggage or even trauma.
Still, you should not let this discourage you or make you feel alienated from them; you need to approach this situation with empathy, compassion, and patience. We also recommend that all parents bring any adoptive child to see a counselor or therapist who can help them work through the concerns, feelings, and insecurities they may have about being adopted or troubling things they experienced before adoption.
Bringing your child to therapy is by no means a sign that your encouragement and love are not enough, but rather an understanding that a therapist can offer your child a safe place to express their feelings without judgment, fear of hurting your feelings, or discipline; it is giving them autonomy through allowing them to work through emotions privately.
Taking a Realistic Parenting Approach
Today, we’ve delved into the realm of adoptive parenting, unraveling common yet unrealistic expectations that many parents may encounter on this profound journey. While the rewards of adoptive parenthood are undeniable, it is crucial to acknowledge the complexities and sacrifices that accompany this life-changing responsibility.
Many children, much like the many residents at the Children’s Home, have unique stories shaped by foster care, failed adoptions, or aspirations for adoption. As adoptive parents navigate this intricate path, empathy, patience, and an understanding of a child’s individual needs become paramount in fostering a supportive and nurturing environment.
At the Alabama Free Will Baptist Children’s Home, we strive to provide necessary services to our young residents, including counseling—an essential resource in addressing the emotional complexities many of these children face. Our ongoing ministry for children and teens is made possible through the generous donations of our supporters.
If you feel compelled to make a positive impact and contribute to the well-being of children at the Alabama Free Will Baptist Children’s Home, we invite you to visit our donation page. Your support can play a crucial role in enriching our residents’ lives, ensuring they receive the care, guidance, and opportunities they deserve.