Whether your children entered your care through the foster system, blood relation, adoption, or otherwise—overwhelming evidence from childhood psychology experts shows how parents and guardians play a highly influential role in the development of their children’s self-esteem.
At the Children’s Home, our House Parents take an intentional approach to parenting, being mindful of their influence on the child’s self-esteem. If you’d like to learn more about how to boost a child’s self esteem, keep reading!
Self-Esteem in Childhood
A person’s confidence and perception of their worth is called their self-esteem. People with high self-esteem tend to feel secure about their personalities and relationships, confront new challenges confidently, make well-informed decisions, and have the motivation to achieve their goals.
Critical stages of self-esteem development occur during childhood, and are significantly influenced by early interactions with parents or guardians. The voices and words a child hears from their parents in early childhood usually manifests in their “self-talk” (also known as the superego or conscience) for the rest of their lives. Thus, learning how to boost a child’s self-esteem is essential.
Don’t worry; we won’t recommend a long parenting book. We follow the advice of experts in psychology and Biblical wisdom to support our residents’ self-esteem with unconditional love!
How to Boost a Child’s Self-Esteem
In the 1950s, humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers (re-)introduced the world of psychotherapy to the concept of unconditional positive regard. Essentially, unconditional positive regard involves showing someone that you understand, accept, and support them when they disclose their feelings.
The unconditional love that children need from their parents or guardians is very similar to unconditional positive regard. Unconditional love is love that never goes away and does not cease to exist just because a child does something wrong or fails to do something perfectly. Showing unconditional love to children is critical for them to develop healthy self-esteem. When parents fail to show them unconditional love, children can forever struggle with low, distorted self-esteem.
Expressing unconditional love to your child means being involved and present in your child’s life, showing you care about their interests, speaking in a positive tone with appropriate language, encouraging them to try new things and embrace challenges, recognizing their talents and progress, and not “kicking them when they’re down.”
In other words, when their behavior is disappointing or different than you expected, it is best to filter your anger and avoid name-calling, shouting, excessive punishment, or comparing them to other children who act or academically perform “better.”
What Unconditional Love Is Not
When a therapist shows a patient unconditional positive regard, they do not necessarily approve of all their behavior or believe certain thoughts, feelings, and actions shouldn’t be treated. Similarly, the intentional choice to show a child unconditional love does not involve a stop in discipline when children break the rules, disobey, or disrespect.
Let us clarify: neglecting to enforce boundaries and enabling maladaptive or inappropriate behavior is not the same as unconditional love. Unconditional love is love that does not cease just because a child does something wrong or fails to do something perfectly.
Unconventional Home, Unconditional Love
We want to ensure our residents can flourish into adulthood. Despite our family being a little unconventional, we show them Christ’s unconditional love each and every day! The Alabama Free Will Baptist Children’s Home provides a safe, loving home to children and teens from challenging environments or foster care. To continue supporting our ministry and residents, please give your spiritual and financial gifts as you’re able!