This blog explains where the children in our care come from. We do not seek out or recruit Alabama Free Will Baptist Children’s Home residents. Instead, we accept new residents through a referral process.
While we do not require payment to accept a child, if the family can, we expect them to contribute finances in some circumstances, such as gifts for birthdays or Christmas, extracurriculars, and healthcare if necessary. Otherwise, residency is cost-free for the family and child (thanks to the generous donors who support our mission).
More recently, we’ve been pursuing a new avenue of ministry: helping families struggling with failed adoptions. Still, we will continue to accept local and in-state referrals from any family struggling with maintaining children in their home, whether biological or children they are legal guardians of.
Foster Referrals + Why We’re Unlike Other Group Homes
The Alabama Freewill Baptist Children’s Home is a non-profit ministry with high standards of excellence and accountability for every aspect of campus life. Although the state heavily associates us with group homes, we are not your typical group home.
We do everything in our power to ensure our children do not experience abuse, negative influence, neglect, or lack of enrichment. To maintain this, we continually improve the conditions of our facilities and regularly review the background of our house parents (and other staff), ongoing conduct, childcare provision, and overall quality of care.
In 2015, we began working with DHR foster care after updating our facilities to meet the ADA (American Disabilities Act) criteria for the first time. In other words, our campus became accessible for disabled children, a requirement for group homes to receive referrals from the state. This connection immediately increased our referrals—so many that we heartbreakingly had to turn some kids away due to a lack of space.
Although we are not a conventional group home, we recognize that, technically, we are one; DHR gives us that classification. We primarily admit residents from failed adoption situations, but we still accept some foster referrals.
Unfortunately, however, there are some foster referrals we cannot assist with, like in cases where the child has behavioral needs beyond what we can manage in our type of program.
Failed/Disrupted Adoption Referrals
Along with continuing care and support for foster children, we have been expanding our scope of ministry to aid and accept more residents from out-of-state adoption referrals—families impacted by failed adoptions.
Failed adoptions occur when there is a disruption or prevention of permanency. In other words, sometimes, adoptions aren’t always successful. A couple of common reasons that adoption may not be a healthy fit for the adoptive family or child include:
- Sometimes, adopted or fostered children feel forced to be a part of a family they didn’t choose. In situations like these, the children may act out, exhibit symptoms of depression, or state plainly that they want to leave their new family.
- In other cases, hopeful parents adopt or foster children without genuinely comprehending the challenges it involves and are not mentally or emotionally equipped to raise a child with trauma and attachment issues. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and regret after placement.
Do Referred Residents Want to Be at the Children’s Home?
Some children just need a fresh start, and after they settle in, most of the residents we accept from failed adoption situations are interested in staying. The change in scenery often alleviates the pressures of bonding with an adoptive family.
Our Executive Director, Mandy, explains it best with this analogy,
The Children’s Home strives to create a haven for children from failed adoption cases. In making this safe environment, we strive to maintain boundaries, avoid triggers, and offer therapeutic opportunities.
- If residents do not want to call their house parents “mom” or “dad,” we won’t ask them to.
- If a resident wants visitation with the failed adoptive parents, we will try to make it happen (unless the parent is unwilling or unfit to be around the child).
- If a resident’s family reaches out, the child is not required to communicate with or see them unless they want to.
- If a resident needs mental health support, we have a counselor on campus who specializes in failed adoption situations.
- If the child is particularly traumatized by their history in foster care and a failed adoption, they may have an aversion to a traditional family dynamic. Within reason, we try to give them some healing distance by minimizing the disciplinarian aspect that’s often heavily enforced by adoptive or foster guardians; this often helps the child work out behavioral issues and emotional turmoil.
Is Residency Permanent?
No, residency is only permanent in certain situations. We usually suggest a child stay with us for at least a year, but we’re happy for them to stay as long as needed.
In most failed adoption cases and guardianship of an underage relative, the adoptive parents and guardians see the child’s time with us as a temporary arrangement until they graduate, the parent or guardian can care for them properly, or the child’s behavior significantly improves.
How to Refer a Family + Find Support
If you or someone you know struggles to be the parent or guardian to their adoptive or biological child or underage relative, the Alabama Free Will Baptist Children’s Home is here to help.
Whether you need to refer a resident from a failed adoption or find counseling services to help you healthily navigate the challenges of adoption, contact us today. We’ll gladly offer expert guidance on failed and disrupted adoptions with love and without judgment.
Thank you for reading this month’s blog on failed adoptions. To learn more about this topic, consult the free guide we published several months ago.
Next month, we’ll be back with another blog that covers how we handle counseling, healthcare, visitation, and the Bridge House for our residents from failed/disrupted adoptions.