Resilience. What does that mean to you? The definition of resilience or being resilient means to recover quickly from difficulties that life has thrown your way. It is a psychological quality where a person who has been knocked down by life’s adversities is able to bounce back at least as strongly as before. Resilient people, rather than letting life’s challenging times, traumatic events, and failure overcome them, find a way to heal emotionally and move forward. Some of the factors that have been identified in making a person more resilient are a positive attitude, optimism, emotional regulation, and understanding that failure can be a form of helpful feedback.
A question you may be asking at this point is, “Is everyone resilient?” It is safe to say that everyone goes through grim times and we all respond to difficult situations differently. Some people seem to be much stronger while others develop psychological disorders. It is not a matter of having resilience but instead cultivating and enhancing it. In other words, we must learn how to bring out resilience in our lives. Most people who have undergone trauma are highly resilient, however some may develop maladaptive coping skills such as substance abuse. Building resilience and getting through the pain and disappointment without letting these things overcome you is not easy, but it can be done. For example, do you demand a perfect streak- or are you able to accept that life is a mix of losses/wins? If you expect perfection, you are bound to be disappointed. Having realistic expectations contributes to our resiliency.
Failure can help us and to fail is deeply human, and no matter your skillset, background, education, or life story everyone will fail spectacularly in life at least once. It is commonplace nature. Failure is not fun but is productive. Analyzation and acceptance of a setback can provide you with a life lesson that will stop the failure from repeating itself in the future.
To put it mildly, life is tough. It is important to understand that not reaching that goal you set, or whatever set back life has thrown your way, does not have to be pleasant. Accept the frustration that comes with failure- failure can be productive. Understanding and accepting the emotions that come with life’s setbacks can help improve the future. It is important to practice self-compassion in knowing that no matter what, you will love yourself through it and be kind to yourself and your situation.